Having sex is not exactly synonymous with being in love. We can see people who have sex but do not maintain a relationship. However, we can also see couples who, in addition to having sex for pleasure, make love because they are in love.
Sexual relations do not always have the same reason or pursue the same goal. For this reason, you have to be very clear about what you want to do and with whom.
The line seems straightforward but, at the same time, diffuse. For this reason, even when we try to intuit the answer, we ask ourselves: what is the difference between making love and having sex?
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What is the difference between making love and having sex?
Opinions and debates on the subject abound, and the truth is that no “universal truth” can be applied to all cases. Therefore, the answer may vary depending on the person and the circumstances.
However, some ideas, like the ones we mentioned above, exist that we have all heard, discussed, or even shared on occasion.
Generally, we say that making love responds to the desire to be intimate with the person who inspires it beyond the physical. For this very reason, we tend to associate it with a unique, significant, and, if you will, transcendental act.
In turn, we understand that having sex responds more to an instinct. This physical need does not precisely require expressing affection or having an interest in going further with the other person. In short, we believe having sex is not the same as making love.
One person can be with another, thinking they are making love, while the other considers having sex. A single word has a decisive influence: feelings.
Making love involves having sexual relations because there is a feeling, a connection, a bond behind it that drives you to want to be intimate with a specific person. This means that aspects beyond physical desire are involved. Instead, to have sex, it is only required to satisfy physical desire.
Essential elements to find the difference
Some vital points shed light to differentiate when sexual relations are based on feelings and when they are just a matter of giving pleasure to the body. Of course, they are not absolute truths but general aspects worth considering.
1. The language
There may be more sensuality when making love because there is more commitment to foreplay, affection, and mutual caresses. Delicacy (gestures and words) plays a vital role before reaching penetration.
On the other hand, when you have sex, you only respond to touch, the excitement it generates, and the desire to reach orgasm. There is not necessarily affection or a whole ritual around the sexual encounter.
2. The gratification
When you make love, you think a lot about achieving mutual pleasure, how to satisfy your partner, and how much you love them, among other related issues. This means the desire does not suspend thoughts, emotions, or feelings toward that person.
Instead, when having sex, what is sought first is self-gratification, no matter how pleased the other person feels or what their wishes and expectations may be for the present or the future. Nor do you think beyond the moment or whether the other person is significant.