Did you know that the key to happiness lies in being surrounded by good people? In this age of social networks and technology, it seems we are friends with everyone… However, in reality, true friendships are very rare. In this article, we will give you some tips to have more (real) friends.
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Why do I have few friends?
Maybe you had a great group of friends when you were younger and in high school; however, as time went by, that circle closed more and more, and now you have realized that you only “remain” a handful of friends with whom you talk more often.
When it’s time to celebrate your birthday or wedding, and you want to make the guest list, it’s probably shorter than 15 or 20 years. Because? Well, because life takes us down different paths, we stop being so in contact with many people.
Even today, when the internet connects us with people on the other side of the planet in seconds, we can experience that feeling that we need to have more friends.
Making new friends is not an easy task. You should know that from the beginning. It is not to take away your illusion but so that you know that it takes time.
The lack of continuity in relationships is the first reason for the lack of friends. It would be best if you were in touch all the time. With a message, every birthday or holiday is not enough. Think of friendship as a beautiful plant: the more you care for it, the better chance it will flourish and stay healthy and beautiful over time.
Keys to having more friends
We start with the steps or changes you should make to have more friends. These tips can also help you not lose friendships you have already made.
1. Let go of your insecurities
One of the causes of not getting or keeping friends is that we believe that we are not worthy of such friendships. Why would he be interested in me? What can I give him in return? I have a boring life, so you like my company…
Believe it or not, you have many things to offer someone. To start your love and fidelity. That’s already a lot! Do not be shy. Do not avoid social contact. Do not think that they will reject you. You have many positive qualities, knowledge, experiences, and thoughts that can bring you closer to people.
You don’t have to be a millionaire, dress in fashion, drive the latest model car, or be a celebrity to have more friends.
2. Stay in touch
Proximity is essential to maintain friendships and, of course, to make new ones. You must avoid being tedious or forcing the other to stay.
- Take advantage of the fact that new technologies shorten distances but do not abuse messages or calls.
- Do your best to meet face-to-face with that person.
- Take time for dinner or a few drinks once in a while. It is the best way to get to know each other more and forge an unbreakable bond.
3. Look for people with common interests or tastes
You can join a club, organization, forum, or group that includes people with the same interests as you. This will facilitate a first contact, as well as the conversation flow.
If you like gardening, take a garden course; if you love music, take singing or instrument classes; study a language; practice a sport; attend church or volunteer… In this way, you can be surrounded by people who, at least, have something in common with you.
4. Don’t judge
Finding perfect friends is impossible because we all make mistakes. Don’t try to make your relationships exceptional. There will be good moments and bad ones.
If you are introduced to someone you may not like at first sight… give them a chance! It may surprise you and become someone significant to you. Many times “opposites attract.” Your personality can be the complete opposite of that of the other. But maybe that will help you complement each other and make an unbeatable duo.
5. Express your feelings
However, talking about feelings or expressing opinions can be a great way to start a friendship. As? Through trust and honesty.
6. Be authentic
About the previous point, we can also recommend that you do not try to be someone you are not. Masks and performances only serve to break relationships.
- If you intend lasting and true friendships, you are authentic and sincere, and you, yourself, do not imitate or invent anything; sooner or later, they will discover you and not want to stay by your side.
- To win a friendship, you must work on your qualities and bring them to light when appropriate.
- Do not be ashamed of your tastes, ideas, or points of view.
7. Start the conversation
You can say something superficial like what nice shoes you have, how well they look on you, or today is a beautiful summer day.
An excellent way to keep the conversation going is to be interested in the other person (without seeming too inquisitive or nosy). Remember that people like to talk about themselves and always find it easy.
Another option is to offer to help (for example, if you’re in a meeting, ask if the organizer needs drinks brought to the table or chairs tidied).
Read: Wu Wei, solving problems without forcing
8. Organize your schedule
To have more friends, you must be available. This means that excuses of “not having time” are not allowed.
Of course, you don’t have to give up work or your personal space, nor do you have to give up everything to be with others, but you do have to be organized enough to make space for your new friends regularly.
As you can see, to make more friends, you have to be willing to interact with other people, overcome your limitations -in terms of socialization-, open up, trust, contribute, and let them contribute to you, as well as being spontaneous and enjoying things more straightforward in the company of those we have chosen to spend a pleasant time.